Having grown up always feeling in the wrong, Curran developed a hard shell to protect himself. As he grew older, he developed an anger management problem that would negatively affect his life, career, and most importantly – his marriage. “I always just thought I was angry and full of rage. I’ve always been ready to explode at the drop of a hat.”
One of many instances of Curran’s anger was Halloween when he and his wife were preparing for a party. Curran was trying his best to peel eggs, but was struggling, causing his frustration to escalate to anger and then rage. His face flushed and Curran felt incapable of helping, unlovable, and unsafe due to his anger. In the midst of the argument with his wife, he went to stick a knife into the cutting board and cut right through his pinky.
This incident was Curran’s worst nightmare coming to life. Playing guitar was his career and passion. At the hospital, Curran repeatedly told the emergency room doctor that if he couldn’t fix his pinky, he would kill himself. Thankfully, just days later a hand surgeon was able to save Curran’s pinky.
Curran continued to struggle with anger and rage. Towards the end of 2017, Curran had a public “meltdown” at one of his band’s shows, leaving him in a deep depression.
“When my wife said ‘this isn’t the kind of marriage I want’, that was the red flag. I love my wife so much. It was in my wedding vows to her to be patient.”
Curran states he was never truly suicidal, he just wanted to be someone else. Curran wandered around Kenmore and entered a small family practice while having a mental crisis. That doctor’s office suggested Curran seek help at Portage Path Behavioral Health.
When Curran arrived at Portage Path, he could barely function and had to have staff complete his paperwork for him. He was evaluated and directly referred to the Pathways Program.
Pathways is a clinical day treatment program designed to help individuals reduce symptoms, gains stability, and build essential life and problem solving skills. Participants effectively make changes to positively impact their lives and regain a sense of hope for the future.
Curran came into Pathways very skeptical. “When I started Pathways, I was very controlling, like if I did things a certain way, everything will go exactly as I demand it to go.” He read the Pathways manual and thought it was a bunch of ‘mumbo jumbo’, then he realized he was reading about his own current actions and reactions. Curran links his negative core belief system to the way in which he was raised in the Catholic Church and school system and the spiritual abuse he experienced as a child. Now he uses the positive 5 core beliefs taught in the program to turn his thinking around and change his behavior. He has rebuilt his life.
“They didn’t minimize anyone’s problems in Pathways. Just because I felt that someone else’s problems were worse than mine, didn’t mean mine weren’t important too. People started to notice a difference. My band would come up and say ‘you’re different, something is different.’”
“Pathways has absolutely changed my life – and saved it.”